Fidler in the Hood: Make a wish and it will come true

Uvongo scribe Rob Fidler standing in the 'Big Hole' just 60 metres from the Uvongo Town Hall offices - knee-deep in trouble!

HERE comes summer! Well not quite, but we’re well on the road to those lazy, hazy days of summer; so grab your coat, don’t forget your hat, life’s a treat on the sunny side of the street. And put on a happy face.

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Rumour has it

Local citizens, I hear, are constantly up in arms at the state of disrepair of our suburban roads. I am reliably informed that decent, honest ratepayers who contribute to the coffers of ‘Uncle Ray’ and his not-so-merry men, are going potty with the many potholes blighting our highways and byways. In May I reported on my own personal favourite pothole, which was within spitting distance of the Ray Nkonyeni Municipal offices in Uvongo. The pothole is still there, getting bigger by the day. It is a challenge for many a motorist who ventures out to the library. Rumour has it that a 4×4 vehicle got stuck in the pothole and had to be towed out. Would I lie to you?

Wishful thinking

Surely the municipality’s road repairs works department must be aware of this danger spot and would have the pothole filled in by now? After all, two years (!) is a long time to get something actually fixed? How stupid of me to even think such thoughts.

Wishful thinking perhaps; but then I heard through the grapevine the real reasons for ‘nothing doing’.

Tourist attraction

The municipality has decided that this particular pothole is to be declared a national monument and converted into a wishing well! I kid you not! And not just an ordinary wishing well – it will become a major tourist attraction with local and international visitors making this a ‘must visit’ shrine. The wishing well is to be given the works, complete with a small roof, brick surrounds and bucket. Leaking water pipes within the vicinity will be patched up and waters will be diverted to the bottom of the well. For a small token of, say, R5 or R10, visitors will be able to throw their money away into the well and make a wish. ‘Uncle Ray’ will listen to your wishes and, voila! – all your dreams shall come true! Guaranteed, too! Now why didn’t we think of this before? Everybody will be a winner; much safer than a flutter on the horses or the national lottery.

Smooth ride ahead

So hurry, hurry! All our trials and tribulations shall all be over. Tourists will flock to see this ‘Eighth Wonder of the World’ and money will pour into the local treasury. ‘Uncle Ray’ will be able to pave the way for a smooth ride around town and your vehicle’s damaged wheels and tyres will be just bad memories. As Vera Lynn would sing ‘Wishing Will Make It So’. ‘Our Vera’ also sang ‘Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Goodbye’ (with the takings!) You heard it here first, friends!

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Call to arms

Matters arising, including potholes and wishing wells, may well be placed on the agenda under ‘General’ at the next Uvongo Ratepayers’ and Residents’ Association’s AGM. Diarise Wednesday, September 19th, at 5.30pm and get to the Uvongo Library’s activities room. Right next the infamous pothole, soon-to-be the ‘star attraction’ wishing well. You can’t miss it (the pothole or the AGM). Local residents are earnestly invited to come along and make their voices heard, please. The association does a sterling, if thankless, job, and needs everyone’s support. We live in trying economic times and really have to fight for all we can get. Who knows? Maybe that wishing well is the answer? Look on the bright side: we’re half way there with our own ‘Big Hole’! All you have to do is make a wish by pitching up at the AGM.

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  AUTHOR
ROB FIDLER

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