Butthead’s Beat: Sardines vs oysters… shucks, no contest

Bevis Fairbrother.

Sorry to say this, but surely people are more likely to drive a long, long way to swallow a fresh oyster rather than suck on a sardine.

That’s probably why the Knysna/Plettenberg Bay area really hums at this time of year, definitely more so than the often water-less (self-inflicted) KZN South Coast.

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Granted, we are having a bumper sardine run this year, but there’s never a guarantee. Yet, there’s always fresh oysters to be had further south.

This is just a theory, of course, but there’s a good possibility it all boils down to… sardines vs oysters.

We have the Sardine Festival. Knysna has the Oyster Festival.

Both events include good concerts, shows, markets, sports events, service delivery protests, etc, etc.

One would think that the KZN South Coast’s way better weather, warmer sea and the shorter drive from Gauteng would be distinct advantages.

Not so, based on personal experience and the number of GP cars driving around Knysna/Plett this year.

It has to be the oysters.

So, let’s ditch the elusive sardines as a ‘possible’ annual side show, find a more palatable local delicacy and create a new festival to attract bigger crowds over the mid-year break.

Bananas? We might slip up there as not many people would drive a mile for a banana. After all, one can get them just about anywhere.

Sugar cane? There are all sorts of things one can do with sugar, but health nuts won’t be keen.

Hang on! Eureka! Nuts!

That’s the answer.

The South Coast is already world famous for its high quality macadamia nuts and virtually every farmer is planting trees, hoping to crack rich rewards in a few years.

Just imagine how creative one could be marketing the KZN South Coast Nut Festival.

OK, maybe we should add the word ‘Macadamia’ just in case some real nutters get the wrong idea.

Here are another few useful tips picked up while spying on the opposition:

* All the street lights seem to work, compared to the dark and dingy South Coast;

* There are so many more interesting places where one can breakfast, wine or dine while overlooking the sea. Whereas, the South Coast has a plethora of establishments without a view;

* The beaches are pristine and secure (no burnt stairways).

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One beach even has a… ‘poo patrol’, a gang of gung-ho grannies who make sure pet owners pick up after their dogs. No kidding.

They even sell doggy poo bags for a small fee.

Take note, Tweni Community Watch.

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  AUTHOR
Bevis Fairbrother
Branch Manager

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