Butthead’s Beat: Hi-ho, Silver… awaaay!

File photo.

IN addition to death and taxes, crime is now surely another certainty in life.

Well, on the South Coast anyway.

The idiom was first coined way back in 1716 by the late (he, he) Christopher Bullock: “’Tis impossible to be sure of anything but death and taxes.”

It’s hard to believe that there was no crime around then, but it was obviously not top of mind like it is these days.

Heck, it’s not even safe to go shopping at a mall any longer, as was evident in Scottburgh recently.

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A week never goes by when we don’t have stories about crime and those are only the really newsworthy incidents. The ‘petty’ stuff rarely makes it into print and many victims don’t even bother to report it to the police.

“What’s the point?” they say. “The criminals will never be caught.” That’s wrong, of course, because statistics are important to our crime fighters so that they can build up a pattern and direct their crime fighting efforts to the hot spots.

What’s the solution?

Well, first of all, one might suggest that the SAPS certainly needs a good leader. Let’s face it, the batch of head sheriffs over the past few years seems to be more suited to the Hole-in-the-Wall gang (made famous in American Western novels).

Now there’s a ‘new sheriff in town’, according to the Minister of Police, Fikile Mbalula, in his own words. (He is also known as ‘Mr Razzmatazz’ and seems to have a penchant for socialising. So perhaps we can also call him Wyatt Burp.)

Bevis Fairbrother.

Anyway, there always seems to be a shootout at the HQ Corral.

Meanwhile, law enforcement on the ground is decidedly thin, under-equipped and even demoralised.

When former Minister of Finance Pravin Gordhan was still in the saddle, he said that government needed to ‘go back to basics’.

What a great idea for the police. They need to be more visible, so why not give them more horses?

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There’s already so much manure on our streets and beaches, a little more won’t make much difference.

Horses are very effective when it comes to crowd control and are much more palatable than tear gas and rubber bullets.

Plus holidaymakers will just love the spectacle of the ‘Mounties’ patrolling. One or two trusty steeds are used for the peak seasons, but why not start a fully-fledged mounted unit for all year round?

Politicians might even get a kick out of it. Blue light brigades are oh so boring.


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Bevis Fairbrother
Branch Manager

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